It's over.

Wow. Last night was closing night. I can't believe it's over. Ten performances over 3 weekends. Eleven weeks of rehearsals. A very long rehearsal period (they're usually 6 to 8 weeks from casting to opening night). And it's all over. Already. Holy Vrap. I have very mixed emotions. I am proud of what I did up on that stage. The people that matter to me - the ones I respect for THEIR talents - were all so very complimentary of my work. My step-mother (the GODFATHER, so to speak, of our group) who directed me in countless shows as a child and teen, came up to me and said "You were wonderful. It's the best thing I have ever seen you in" . My friend and mentor, Dana, gave me such positive feedback and validated my feelings about some of the director's choices that I disagreed with. . My father...well, I told you all how he made me cry opening weekend. Rmember the show I *didn't* get cast in back in January (the one I wanted DESPERATELY)? Well, the director of that show, who is BEYOND stingy with compliments, came up to me and said "Nice Job! GOOD Work!!!!" Coming from him, that's downright friggin' effusive. A VERY talented friend was there last night and she really liked my work. So I did what I set out to do. I proved myself as a talented actress and not just a behind-the-scenes-techie. Part of me is really sad that it's over. There's this amazing bond that you form with your cast mates. Because you are up there, sometimes testing your boundaries, reaching for emotional places, and you have to REALLY trust them. To do their job as well as they can, so that, together, you can create the reality of the story. So I am sad that it's over and I won't be together with them again in the same way. But at the same time, I am a bit relieved. It's been a long (albeit fast) 3 months. And I am TIRED. I am happy to have my life back. I am thrilled that the only thing on my calendar for the next week is a cookie party and thanksgiving dinner at grandma's. I was growing tired of the show. I know it sounds crazy, but thinking about all the lines and scenes *outside* the performance, I was tired of it. I didn't want to regurgitate it all AGAIN. But once the lights came up, it was fresh all over again. The emotions true and raw. And it was fun. Last night after the show, I came home to get ready for the cast party so I didn't have to stay for strike. I was grateful for that. I helped build that room. I painted it. I helped decorate it. And I went to so many different places in that room emotionally. That room came to life around us. And we filled it with our story, our history. I really didn't want to see it torn down. For some reason, sometimes the set becomes more than just where you perform. Especially in a single set piece like this. It ALL takes place in that one room. It becomes the home of your character. And when you miss that character, you miss that "home". Consequently, strike can be hard. I was happy to not see our "home" dismantled. I just can't believe it's over. Three months of work. It's so strange. You put in so much time. Blood, sweat and tears. And all that's left after closing night are your memories and reputation. Some photos. A videotape. It was a challenging piece for me in so many ways. But I am so happy to have done it.