Well THAT was fun....

...sort of. Let's talk about sex, shall we? Anyone who tells you that their sex life returns to normal (or increases!) after Baby is either a) exaggerating (lying), b) having a torrid affair (and therefore lying to someone), c) in a new relationship without Baby's father, or d) a big fat liar. Really. If your libido was low before Baby, don't hold out hope that it will return at all after. My daughter will be 4 in March, so “after Baby” is not the 6 week “pelvic rest” period prescribed by the obstetricians of the world. Rumor has it that women hit their sexual prime at age 35. Well, I am 33 and my libido seems to be completely MIA. I had always imagined it would be a slow, gentle build of need, reaching it’s crest at the magical age of 35. In my mind, the roll down the hill from that wonderful age of 35 would be a long, leisurely descent. A sluggish tumble of declining desire that spanned the years from 35, coasting through the dry years of menopause, and petering out completely at oh, say death. A very lofty aspiration, I know. However, as I near 34, and Madame Libido continues to hide out with the infamous Groundhog, rearing it’s head only about as often as Punxsutawney Phil, the “build” isn’t what I’d hoped. I guess this dashes all delusions of a long pleasure cruise through the years that follow. Well, recently, I struck a match under my ailing libido and lured the wonderful Curt upstairs for some frolicking. The man is SO patient with me, after all. We larked about the bed having a grand old time. I wound up astride my beloved, and at the moment of …….err……”truth”, his body arched up in ecstacy. His head came up off his pillow and smashed me in the nose. Hard. Now, I know some people are into pain in the bedroom. We do not fall into this category. Talk about anti-climactic. At least it didn’t bleed…. I do think, though, that it’s still a bit out of joint. No wonder my libido lives underground with an oversized rodent.